THE REAL AMERICA INDEPENDENT LEAGUE
RAILREAL AMERICA INDEPENDENT LEAGUEReal Merch for Fictional BaseballTHE OFFICIAL BASEBALL LEAGUE OF ABRAHAM LINCOLN
A dead president. A live merchandise department.
The first official RAIL shirt has been issued.
OFFICIAL ISSUE · ITEM 001
Pepper · Front print · S–4XL
BUY THE OFFICIAL RAIL SHIRT ↗S–XL $25 · 2XL $27 · 3XL $29 · 4XL $31
Shipping and tax calculated in the official store.
REAL MERCH.
FICTIONAL BASEBALL.
OCTOBER FIELD NOTICE · MEET THE LEAGUE
Some towns have a baseball team.
Ours have a situation.
Underground baseball. Truck-stop royalty. A mascot with no skin. RAIL conducts the business of independent baseball with municipal seriousness and deeply questionable personnel.
Bean Hook carries a bat-handled scythe and a beer stein. He represents the Bloomington Soy Beers. This is considered a normal appointment.
SMALL TOWNS. LONG MEMORIES.
Choose your allegiances carefully.
The League Office keeps records.
A baseball club does not require witnesses.
Fresh meat. Official baseball.
Trashy, crappy and promiscuous. His words.
Eleven operating clubs. Green Bay Sucks and Ottawa Third Man In forthcoming.
Inspect every club →THREE OPEN LINES · SEVERAL VERSIONS OF EVENTS
The club representatives are taking questions. Agreement is not included.
BLOOMINGTON SOY BEERS
THE DUGOUTAsk about the Soy Beers, league enemies or why this is somebody else’s fault.
Ask Morris about it →LINCOLN LOT LIZARDS
THE TRUCK STOPAsk about the Lot Lizards, The Truck Stop or why Morris remains useful.
Get Lizzie’s side →ATLANTA ODs
THE DISTRIBUTION CENTERAsk about warehouse baseball, collective ownership or the proper procedure for objecting.
Address the chair →THE OFFICIAL FILM RECORD
RAIL NETWORK
Statements. Introductions. Evidence.
RAIL · LEAGUE PROCLAMATION · 28 SECONDS
President Sparky Roseman delivers the RAIL proclamation from the cockpit.
11 films · Club introductions, mascot films & league broadcasts
ELLEBEAU’S PICK · SINCERELY CYNICAL
“The President’s on the back. The league’s on the front. Try to get your arms in the correct holes.”
The President has taken the field. His security detail has concerns. Black full-zip hoodie with the official RAIL crest on the front and Honest Abe #16 against Illinois storm clouds on the back. Black, S–5XL.
Current sizes, colors and prices are confirmed in the official store.
OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT · EXPANSION FILE
OTTAWA, ILLINOISTHIRDANY DAY NOW OR LATER
FORTHCOMING EXPANSION CLUBLATEST DEVELOPMENT · OCTOBER 25, 2026
They didn’t start the fight. They weren’t invited to the fight. Ottawa Third Man In is getting involved anyway.
RAIL’s forthcoming Illinois expansion club brings hockey’s third-man-in attitude to baseball. Arrival remains officially scheduled for “any day now or later.”
Catch up on the official record →PUBLIC INQUIRIES · MERCHANDISE DIVISION
The RAIL Official League Tee, the league’s approved first shirt. Pepper, the original Lincoln-and-railroad-tie crest on the front, and a plain back. View all three product angles above.
S, M, L and XL are $25. 2XL is $27, 3XL is $29 and 4XL is $31. Choose your size in the official store; shipping, tax and current availability are shown there.
Yes. The shirts are real; the baseball is fictional. Orders and fulfillment are handled by Fourthwall through the official RAIL League Store. For order questions, contact support@railbaseball.com.
Halloween delivery is not promised. Check the delivery estimate for your address in the official store before ordering. League allegiance continues after October 31.
OFFICIAL ISSUE 001 · FOUNDING SEASON 2026
The first shirt. The original crest. An entire league to answer for.
GET THE FIRST SHIRT · FROM $25 ↗“DON’T BE A BORE… HEAD TO THE STORE!”— ELLEBEAU JONES · DIRECTOR OF MERCHANDISE